You hurt me....But im letting go

You may not know
 
but u hurt me
 
i have been bitter
 
been angry at the whole world
 
i am full of bile
 
for all the pain
 
the heartache
 
the damage
 
the tears
 
the nightmares
 
the agonizing pain
 
the silent screams in my heart
 
the life on stage
 
the life i have staged
 
live on stage
 
coz i didnt have the courage
 
to cover my shame
 
and walk past the shadow of shame
 
yes....i have been hurt
 
yes....i have hurt
 
yes i am hurting
 
but im letting go
 
of the baggage
 
of the weight
 
of the bitter bile
 
i am turning my wounds into wisdom
 
my scars into stars
 
i am forgetting the cloudy days
 
i am remembering the day the sun shone on me...
 
i am forgetting the things that i cannot change
 
i am remembering the things i learnt from such.
 
i am learning how to let go
 
.....learning how to smile through it all.

Fan the flame

Every step of the journey I fight
 
When I have the pride of a lion, I fight
 
When I am weak....I still fight with the little strength I have
 
When I crumble down,
 
I gather myself up and fight
 
When my temple lies in ruins yet its the House of The Trinity,
 
like dead bones in the Valley of dry bones
 
God's Spirit breathes life in me
 
I am not perfect, oh I am a sinner
 
A sinner in need of the cleansing blood of Jesus
 
Just like you reading this,
 
But I never give up
 
I never gave the Devil a chance to market himself
 
Not by my strength but by His Spirit
 
I brag not of myself....mere man
 
I am a trademark of Heaven
 
I decrease while the Lord increases in me
 
Therefore, I will not tire...I will forge on this walk with my eyes on the Prize
 
For this walk is not of those who shrink back and are destroyed but of those who believe and are saved
 
Has Bev been tempted to the point of death??NO!!!
 
Every temptation I go through is common to man
 
Have you been ashamed through the city...flogged while carrying a heavy cross and crucified???I DON'T THINK SO
 
Have you been in a den of lions like Daniel, Meshack and Abednego??I DOUBT
 
So count it all joy and forge on through your troubles, and through your weaknesses
 
That you may glorify Your Father in Heaven
 
Greater is He in You
 
Watch the midnight oil....pray..keep guard that He may find us standing in faith
 
For no one knows the hour the Lord will come....like a thief in the night...
 
Take your full tithe, not in part, to the storehouse...
 
Don't the scripture say...that He will open the floodgates if you do so....taste and see His goodness
 
Do good, for a scroll of remembrance exists
 
Forgive, don't let the sun go down in your anger
 
Honor the Lord in your Youth
 
Scriptures say, it is God's will that we be sanctified
 
Avoid any sexual immorality, control your body desires
 
Let there be no hint of sexual immorality...
 
That is how serious God takes holiness
 
Lay aside all sin that easily snares and entangles us
 
My dears, we all have dark pages in our life book
 
Yes we do!!!!
 
But there is a greater calling
 
We are marked to make a mark
 
We can be living testimonies...salt and light of the earth
 
Only if we fight on !!!!
 
Fight on with and in Christ
 
The 1st step of the battle is when you believe in your heart and confess with your mouth!!!!
 
this is what we call SALVATION
 
Make a choice
 
Pick up your mat and walk in the light
 
If you are saved, forge on!!!
 
A righteous man falls 7times but he gets up  my dear
 
I can get up....You can get up!!!!
 
Fan the flame of Christ.....don't be ashamed to know the Son of Man

Unmerited Favor

Favour is not fair

Grace is unmerited favour

Sometimes we notice the blessings of the day

There are time we've ignored the hand of God

The fact that we walk on two feet

Can see the beauty of the day,the sky,the rainbow

The fact that we can hear the sound of birds

We have brains to think

The willpower to choose a path of life

A chance to serve in different positions

Friends to make life worth it

A chance to be educated

It is grace that your loved

How many are rejected in this world??

It is grace that you have basic needs

It is GRACE

Not the grace of parents,friends or people in high places

But the grace and mercies of God.

Be grateful

Appreciate everything

Complain less

Do not misuse the blessings you have

Do not be proud as if you deserve them

For the Lord upholds the humble

Remember He who blesses you

Before the day ends

Or dawn comes

Thank God for undeserving love

This undeserving love we enjoy

Is the unmerited favour

Courtesy of the Lord God Almighty.

The little grown things: The visibly inconspicous

They were little

They were inconspicous

They were negligible

They were the little things

''I ain't going to church'' he spoke one day

And sure enough he missed the sunday sermon

I mean he was busy,

You know unfinished businesses that pop up on sunday mornings

Or excess fatigue or criticisms against the church

Lets not be spiritual on this

We've been there

He drank some wine

Soon wine became normal

Then came the alcohol

One beer a day

I mean it helps him relax

The ignorable little things

She said:''this world is full of crap!!!!''

If you cant beat them, you've gotta join them

She's beautiful and she knows it

Life is short, she's gotta have fun

She begins raving once in a whyle

The ravist who wont consume alcohol

Sooner or later, her wardrobe seems too conservative

She's gotta show some cleavage

Some hips,

Boobs must be conspicous

A low rider kinda jeans with a sexy thong

Fashion!!!!!!

Back to him,

A man's ego cant bow down to another man's

His ego has to conquer

And he sure conquered the women

From the high class, to the shy, the noisy even the good girls turned bad

He is the man.....or atleast in his eyes

Sooner or later....all this becomes a lifestyle

It becomes their way of life

Little things grown big

The humble hearts that knew God

Turned their back from Him

Tasted the world and never looked back

We ignored the little things

Such habits dont start in a day

Even Rome wasnt built in a day

These habits were visibly inconspicous

But who cared enough??

The flesh grew stronger than the spirit man

For how else will the spirit man grow

If the only food on the menu is alcohol,sex, sprees etc etc

Feed the flesh and it grows

The fleshly desires will mature

From being baby desires to untrainable teenagers and before you know it they are adults:old, rugged and unchangeable

These are what we call strongholds

Then we begin to wonder and say:

The things i want to do i dont do..

Those that i dont wanna do i end up doing

All because of little things

The visibly inconspicous

No-one was born an alcoholic, a sex addict, a commercial sex worker

An orgies addict. A wife beater, a player or even a chips funga

No-one

God looked at what He created and it pleased Him

He knew us even before we were in our mothers wombs

Lets not be ignorant of the devil in us

It all begins with a thought

The power to act begims in your mind

feed your spirit on His word and you'll wander no more

If men can train dogs...mere animals

Then why is it rocket science to train the mind to focus on worthy acts

Its amnazing how much money we spend to woe a girl

But on matters of God

We term stuff as complicated or impossible

I challenge myself and you

Beware of baby evils before they overpower you and become strongholds

The little things in this life

Make the big stuff of our lives

A person's spiritual condition

Determines the quality of life he lives

Guard your spiritual man

Lest your flesh(read as the devil) becomes the ruler of your life

#An encouragement

When the lights go off

Everyone needs some hope

Everyone needs a reason to believe

A chance to wipe their fears away

Dry their tears sometimes

Everyone wants to run but its not that easy

Dont let your fire burn down

Somebody needs a reason to believe

With your light,

We can light up another put off candlelight

For we are someone else's hope

That's how the lost get found my friend

So when you get a chance

To light up someone else's tunnel

Have the honors of doing so

Coz that's how the lost get found

This is love in action

Somebody needs a helping hand to get up

When you kiss the devil...

When you flirt with the Devil

Entice his ways

When you kiss the devil

Arouse his desires

When you beckon him seductively

When you whisper his name

Knowingly or unknowingly

The devil finds his way in your heart and life

When you kiss the devil

You take up a part of him

It could be his language

His talk is foul,obscene,sexual

He gossips,he slanders

Without apology ofcourse

For it is his profession

To steal,kill and destroy

Keep kissing the devil

And soon you find no guilt in evil

You delight in flirting,arousal,masturbation

Sex orgies became a part of you

Fornication will seem normal

I mean,its hard to abstain

The mentality of the youth of today

We speak as though the devil began scheming in the 19th century

Yet in the garden of Eden he was there

We prove to be sly than he who is sly in nature

Kiss the devil my dear

And bid Jesus bye bye

For God gave man free will

Choose today whom you may serve

If Baal is God serve him

If Yahweh is God then serve him

Kiss the devil

And you open your heart to a mob;of demons

Dont play in the devil's field

For he has power in his territory

My dear,

Don't kiss the devil

For he sucks the beauty inside you

When God created you,

It pleased Him

Don't sin against your own body

Seek God and He shall provide

We need love, grace, self control, kindness, faithfulness

For the lack of such pushes us to dine with the devil

The beauty with Jesus

Is there's no sin that shocks him

If you've fallen off

He cares and His blood redeems

All you need is to walk to the altar

He awaits us

God redeems and remembers our sin no more

Mkatiano na Shaito ishindwe!!!!

Cheap Copies....Dare to fly!!!

No-one knows yourself as you do

They say, power to be all you can be lies within you

Knowing oneself sets one apart from the crowd

It makes you know your potential and your limits

Some people cruise through life having not understood themeselves

They become 'puppets' of another

Blowing whichever way the wind blows

Becoming cheaper copies of their friends

Living someone elses life

If you do not live your life,who do expect will live it??

If you do not put your head above the waters,

You will never find your true self

People end up doing stuff all through their lives

Only to realise that never did they stand up for what they believed in

Or decide on their own matters of life and death

You've got to believe in yourself to make things happen

To move mountains, you've got to know how to move your own self first

I cannot trust a man who says I love you yet doesnt love himself

Dare to step out of the crowd

Be your own man!!!

Why lie with chicken when you can soar high?

Voice your values

Trust yourself

Never undermine the man in you

Choose your destiny wisely

For the power lies within you

You gotta trust yourself

Before God can entrust you with the world

I ask you again:

Why die a cheap copy when you were born an original?

Why try so hard to fit in other
peoples' world

When you were born to stand out??

Dare to be different

Dare to come out and be ye separate

Don't be afraid to shine your shine

The power lies in you!!!!

***Open heart

Today is just one of the days when my heart is faint

When a little encouragement will do me good

Or perhaps the listening ear of a friend

Or could it be just a hug of 'Bev its gonna be okay'??

Or do i need to face the facts head on

Maybe the tears will solve the mystery

Or solitude will open my mind to fathom beyond my obstacles

Im at the point whereby im saying 'Lord i need You not to push me,watch me or help me out....

But Lord carry me please.

Heaven i need a hug most definately

Im sure i aint the only one in such 'beautiful disasters'

It takes time to see the beauty in them

Trust me

I keep telling myself its gonna be fine

Only for things to get worse

I guess through all these i forgot something

To PUSH

Pray Until Something Happens

I need to present my heart and pain to God not man

For man has helped me reason

But God will bring forth healing and forgiveness

For i want to remember no more the afflictions of my heart.

Lord, i wanna pick up my mat and walk

Im tired of being crippled by this pain in my heart

Lord erase the pain in my heart and mind

Give me a new set of eyes

Transform my mind

Gladden my Spirit Lord

For I am tired Lord of being sick and tired

I wanna walk on water

Slay this Goliath

Calm this storm

This I decree and believe

Amen Abba Father

You are somebody's angel

I will smile instead of frowning

I will encourage even when I am in need of it myself

I will love even when hated

I will care even when despised

I will pray instead of wishing

I will bless instead cursing

I will teach instead of being silent

I will correct in love in truth instead of pampering

I will listen more that talk

I will offer a shoulder to lean on

I will be a good friend even to strangers

I will love even when it seems futile

i will believe in you

I will be with a friend in need when i would rather be somewhere else

I will serve than be a master

I will

For to me life, i find gratitude in such acts

For I may be somebody's rainbow through a storm

I may be somebody's pointer to the Cross

I may be someones angel through tough times

Leave a mark in somebody's life

Be little Jesus' to them

With such simple acts

You might just turn somebody's destiny 360 degrees to the right direction.

You are somebody's angel: Play your role excellently.

If only....NOT my story

If only

If only wishes were horses

Then a beggar like me would ride on and never look back

If only

If only I had the power to paint the sky with my thoughts

Then you would see the magnitude of my thoughts

If only

If only i had the strength to fight on

Then i would never have given up

If only i could comprehend the complexity in the simplicity of your actions

Then i would be on the right track

If only I would read your mind

Then i would have some sense of direction

If only my heart wavered

then I would be at the far east corner

If only i knew what next

I would be prepared to face it head on

If only a beggar like me was one step ahead

I would be miles off this earth

If only i would understand life

Then i would welcome all its troubles

If only i fathomed love

then it would be my shelter even when the storm rages

If only...

If only i knew the power of prayer

I would get on my knees everyday

if only i knew that there's a bigger plan in everything

If only I had the patience to wait

If only i had the courage to speak

If only i had the heart to give

If only...

If only...

If only I knew these things

I would not be buried 6 feet down with untapped potential

I missed life because I was waiting for the horses

Even beggars grasp at opportunities beyond their dreams.

If only....will not be my testimony

I will try, push hard for all that i believe and value and cherish.

I will push on for you

To me every wall is a door

My faith shall be my eyes

I believe in the sun even when its not shining

I believe in love even when I am alone

I believe in God even when He's silent

If only will not be my story

I will have my heart's desire someday!!!