31 January, 2011

Thot(1)

Find meaning in life
Value in love
Success in ambitions
Peace in God
Confidence in friendships
Worth of respect
Calmness of the heart
Sobriety of the mind
and life will be a game worth playing

30 January, 2011

Thank God for you

Thank God for u
Coz u rebuke me when i am wrong
You encourage me to follow my dreams
You laughed with me
You cried wid me....even wept my tears
You taught me great lessons
You dissed my stupidity
You encouraged me to keep the faith
You were there for me through it all even in brokeness
You are my life!!!!
Im grateful for the angel in you
Without you, i dont think i would reach this far

Her Life

she is alone
Facing her fears alone
She is capsizing
The turmoils in her life are sequential
She's praying
That one day she'll wake up and they are no more
She's fed up
Fed up of not speaking out
For always putting herself after others
Yet, here she is
Alone
Surrounded by sorrow,despair,flickering light@the end of her tunnel
Tears are her food
Disappointment her take
Sorrow her food
Prayers her hope

You need God

We need God
Yes,we do
God is ultimate
We need to figt the Devil
Who manifests through lust of the flesh and the eyes
Seek Him while He may be found
Coz someday maybe too late
If you've found Him
Don't give up
Don't be deceived
Hold on, fight the flesh
God gives you strength through it and He will cover your shame and carry you through it
Believe in your heart
Confess with your mouth
That Jesus is Lord
Good people don't get to heaven
It's believeing people that do
Know Christ and let Him be known through you

29 January, 2011

Walk Away

I need to walk away from some pages in my life
I need to walk away from my bad memories
I need to walk away from my failures
I need to walk away from my struggles
I need to walk away from love gone bad
I need to walk away from suffocating friendships
I need to walk away....and walk into what God has in store for me
Holding on to my past is detrimental to my present and future
Walk away from your chains
Don't be afraid to shine your shine
You are worth more than you think
Letting go of baggage is necessary if you wanna fly and soar like eagles
Don't hold on to mistakes,
Let go, walk away
Its the 1st step to freeing oneself
Walk away.....
Refuse to be a captive of your past.

A thot...

You have her before you
Yet you don't see
She tries to get your attention
But you have no time for her
She cares for you
Yet you assume her
She prays for you
But to you, God is a notion less you appear too spiritual
She makes your day,
You are the world's hero,never hers
She hopes one day you'll see her worth
In the meantime, you waste your life away
Sometimes God blesses you with the love of your life
But your too busy chasing the wind
Value your loved one
If i were you, he would be my prince
If i were you, she would be my queen.

Carte Blanche by Nanjira Sambuli

Feel free to hurt me
I could use the extra pain
Feel free to crash me
I do best without oxygen
Feel free to insult me
It's my life's source of motivation
Feel free to mock me
My one and only form of compliment
Feel free to use me
I'm a human machine
Feel free to walk away
In my eyes, it's a beautiful view
Feel free to say nothing
Your silence means a thousand words
Feel free to pull one on my head
That will be my saving grace!
Like a sanctuary,everyone is welcome
I wait upon what you bring with open arms
A fresh bout of pain,new stab in the back
A new reason to cry
To feel used
A new vocabulary of insults
That sounds like music to my ears
It's a carte blanche
A blank cheque
Take as much as you can
Leave as little as you can afford
Except the emptiness, that's so fulfilling
The pain that's so motivating
The hurt that's so inspiring
The tears that are so nourishing
Walk away,don't look back
After all, it's a carte blanche

When?

When will I ever learn?
When will I realize it is not worth even a dime?
When will i listen to the still voice?
When will wisdom be my eyes?
When will I learn that i deserve much more?
When will I have the strength to dust myself of the pain and hurt?
When will Bev learn??
Just when!!!!!!!!

27 January, 2011

Hold on

I will hold on
Even when the tide is strong
I will hold on
Even when it doesn't make sense
I will hang in there
Even when all hope is gone
Even when the Devil is on my case
Even when love is dry
Even when my loved ones are no more
Even when my grades are wanting
Even when the future is not all bright
Even when the uncertainities of life prevail
I will hold on
Life is not easy
But i don't operate on my own
I have a God who never sleeps nor slumbers
He is up in my business
Minding every step of my way
So even when life doesnt have me in mind
I have a Daddy who's watching my back 24-7, 365 days.

24 January, 2011

Solemn prayer to Daddy

I write about life,
I write about friendship
I speak to the heart broken
I speak to inspire
I seek to bless with my words
Give hope with His word
But my temple runs in ruins
I seek to rise above the storm
To save myself from the hussles that suffocate me
I seek to smile through the storm
To rebuild the broken temple
I seek to pump life into myself
I seek to bubble with love
To wipe the hot tears away
To turn back the hands of time
So i ask the Father
To refill my cup once more
To ignite the passion that was once in my heart
To overflow me with joy
To inject me with love
For behind this smile Daddy is a girl thirsting for you
For your ways
For your face and not your hand
I can't lay in ruin anymore
Make me over again Lord

Sometimes

Yes i have fallen
I can see that, i can feel it,
Because i fell with a thud
A deep grave, i have dug
I am sorry,
But even stars collide, mountains erupt,the earth tremors
So sometimes, i dont need you to give me 'how could you' look
Sometimes, i dont need to be the subject of your sermons, the agenda of your meetings
I don't need that
Because i am aware i have fallen
But i wanna get up!!!
Isn't that what a righteous man does?
Doesnt the Hoky Bible say so??
So cast not a stone at me
Instead, take my hand and help me get up
If you can fly,teach me how to fly too
Teach me how to worship
How to lift my hands to Him
Remind me that He loves me
Remind me of the anointing at His presence
Help me get up
Because, while i was away,
I got so accustomed to crawling that i forgot I had the capability to fly
This is what i need always......not sometimes!!!

Little Angels

Life can sometimes bruise you
Cut you deep or even strangle your hopes
But in such miserable moments
God knew that we will need little angels to help us
To heal our wounds,pick our mats and continue with our purpose in this life
These little angels are what we term as friends
Im talking about those loved ones who reach for our hands when we need help and end up touching hearts
The ones who bring us joy and laughter
Who make us rich,not with money but with the value they add in our lives
I'm talking about the one who walks in our lives
When the rest of the world walks out
Someone who sees our fisrt tears,catches the second,prevents the third and changes the fourth tear in to a smile
One who loves you dearly and honestly,not afraid to correct you
One who only stands on your way when you are heading downwards
The angel who multiplies the good in you, divides its evils
One who acts the part of an advocate before he assumes that of a judge
True friends are rare to find,
But once you do find them, you cherish them forever

Never!!! Never!!!

Never laugh with me, if all you care about is backstabbing me
Never give me a hug, while you snear
Never talk about feelings, if they are not there
Never take my hand, if you are going to break my heart
Never say you are going to, if you don't plan to start
Never look into my eyes, if all you do is lie
Never say hello, if you really mean goodbye!!!
NEVER!!!
Because you kill me deep within
You destroy my soul, the essence of life
My whole being!!!!
With these lies disguised as love!!!
Just never!!!

Thirst for love

In this world we live in,
Being busy is the order of the day,
Day in, day out
We toil for a bright future
We pursue higher education
We discover better investments
We earn more money
We keep changing our status quo
We do anything to obtain a bright future
But at the end of the day
No amount of toil,
No amount of hardwork,
No amount of money
Can quench our thirst for love
To love, and to be loved
Love knows no status, degrees,race,creed nor money
That is why the greatest of them all is LOVE
Love overcomes obstacles
It covers a multitude of sin
At the end of each busy day,
Our heart will thirst for true love
Until we find the one with the key to our hearts
Until we find the one who'll cool our hearts
Until we find the one who'll cause our veins to vasodilate
Our hearts will continue to thirst for love
For love is not like riches that it can be acquired
Nor is it like a motion that it can be passed
Love is love
It has to be felt
It has to be true
It has to be from one's heart.

Relationships

Whether its your girl/boy or your friend....it is still a relationship

What holds relationships together is trust and love

Relationships aren't built in a day, nothing comes easy

You got to work on it,

It has got to be mutual

It has got to be important to both parties

It has got to include God, nothing beats a 3 cord strand

If we want relationships to last through to the end of time, avoid selfishness,jealousy,slander,lust and godlessness.....

The secret of being a good friend always lies in you.

Stop expecting the other person to do this and that.....while you just sit

In relationships,everyone is a servant.

If there's a master, then it is called slavery!!!

18 January, 2011

A pat on the back

You know what, cut some slack off yourselves

Everyone needs a pat on the back sometimes

You know, 'congrats,big ups, way to go gal, I'm proud of you, you are an amazing friend'

Though brief, such words have a big impact on someones life

A little encouragement does go a long way,

So pat somebody on the back today,

You never know how big a blessing that could me to a dying man.

16 January, 2011

God was always there

When I was born,He was there 

He already crafted my life even before time began

He knew I would make mistakes,

He knew sometimes I would avoid the mistakes

He knew my life would have its share of troubles but He knew He would equip me for such times

He knew some friendships would end so He created newer ones

He knew my heart would break

That is why He sent me His helper to guide me through this life

He knew when I would be born again because I am predestined

He knew my past

He knows my present

He has set my future

God has always been with me....

I just wasn't keen enough to trust Him.

Love Dried Up

My love dried up the moment you lied

The moment you became secretive

The moment you took me for granted

The moment you went against the guidelines of the Bible

My love withered the moment you took me as any other girl

The moment you ignored my value

As soon as you did not care for me

As soon as time became a scarce commodity

As soon as 'I love you' became a bother

As soon as you did all these

My heart became cold

Love gone bad

My love dried up!!!!

12 January, 2011

Love Equation

The irony of the love equation is that once you find 'x' and substitute it in the equation, the equation never seems to balance.

Could it be because the variables involved don't equally contribute to the equation???

Or was the equation never meant to balance??

I am just wondering aloud.....

Find a faithful man and he lands on an unfaithful woman

Find a loving,caring woman and the man would be exact opposite....

Yes, there are unique equations...which in this day and age are rare to find.

So if you find your 'x' and it solves the equation appropriately, STICK TO THAT SOLVED EQUATION.

Nairobi-Eldoret Road

For the last four years, Nairobi- Eldoret route has been my route mostly

The first time on this route, I was full of fear and uncertainty of life.

The 'what ifs' were just too many in my head.

The what ifs cleared and this route has had its awesome memories of laughter,

Friendships have been sealed here, 

Tears have fallen, 

Regrets have been witnessed, 

Reflections done and wisdom gained.

So as I look back at the journey on the road, 

All I can say is who ever thought this road will do me more good than harm?

Talk about the Lord having ordered my steps even before the world began

He having known me by name even before I was in my mother's womb

Talk about Him being all-knowing
As I wrap up the journey, all I can do is trust Him....

No fear and uncertainty this time round for He promised to see me through it all

The Nairobi-Eldoret journey is a road map to my life

11 January, 2011

Dear cupid....

I hope your new year began well and job has picked up well

I think I have a lot to tell you that is why I drafted this letter to you.

I appreciate the arrows you shoot me with but I  have a request.

Cupid, I am tired of the random shots, I kindly request that you give me just one accurate heart shot.

In that case we will avoid the heart aches and save us a lot of time. 

I know men are not not perfect but can we eliminate unfaithful men, liars and hypocrites from the list, add Godly men  unto that list.

This will mean a lot to me cupid....and just one more favor....

Do this unto all my friends out there.

I know you will do me right because your cupid with the love fever
Thank you.



Yours faithfully,
Broken heart
(c) 2011

Even the Heart gets Heart

Sometimes even the heart gets tired

Sometimes even the heart grows cold,

Sometimes even the heart gives up,

The heart gets tired of trying too hard,

The heart gets fed up of all the excuses,

The heart learns to be all by itself

Sometimes all the pain and hurt aint worth it
  
I am afraid that even the heart does not take crap

That's when the heart gets tired of loving

And when your at this place, love dies

Heart matters, do hurt at times.

09 January, 2011

I Believe in You

I believe in that orphan trying to build a life for himself

I believe in that teenage girl, aware of her mistakes, trying to raise her kid alone.

I believe in that mother raising her children alone as the father is never there for them

I believe in that father who hassles taking responsibility as a mother and a father

I believe in that jua kali artisan who works hard in the hot sun to earn a living

I believe in that prostitute trying to restructure her life despite her past image

I believe in that HIV patient who has hope for each day, making every second count

I believe in that young man who is ambitious, hardworking and is seeking a purpose in his life

I believe in that man who is struggling to quit the brown bottle or the cheap liquor to find life in abundance

I believe in the new born child who is unaware of the harshness of this world.

I believe in you 

If God did not believe in you, you would not be here

Believe in yourself too.

07 January, 2011

The Little Things

Have you heard of the song...'Buy her a rose,call her from work ..open the door for her what will it hurt.....'' 

And I realized, it is never about the expensive gifts, 

It is never about the high class treatment, 

It is never about money.

Love thrives on the little things we do...

It is in the 'I Love You' whisper, 

It is the morning text, 

It is in the time you spare for her, 

It is in your company and care, 

It is in the simple things. 

For if love thrived on money, then beggars would never have known what love is.

You Can Fight On.

I look around me and I see dreams shattered, lives wasted.

Not because the people are less privileged, or less blessed or what not, 

But because somebody lost the spirit to fight on, hope vanished.

People have become content in their struggles, 

We worship our weaknesses in the name of 'don't judge me'.

We indulge in alcohol...ooh plenty of it.In fact, at this rate,more women are finding a hobby in drinking alcohol.

The same tongue that blesses...feels free to curse.

Our talk is vulgar, it is PG rated and yet we delight in it. It is the in-thing. 

We find no shame in chips funga, mpango wa kando and the likes. I mean, are we not young. Enjoying life carelessly.

Yet as old age beckons, we begin to see the brevity of life and crave for a different lifestyle....it's called maturity.

But the chains of our youth enslaves us, we have to fight the norm, resist the bottle, zip up your jeans, button your shirt young lady.

Let us pride in ourselves, and when we put our minds to it, we can let go of the bottle, sex and women.

For this too shall past.... It is not an easy road, but if you put your mind to it, focus on the prize then there will be a chance of becoming a better you.

BUT, YOU GOT TO FIGHT FLESHLY DESIRES. Nothing comes easy.....nothing.

04 January, 2011

I wish

I wish I could understand how the world operates 

I wish I could understand how the stars manage to shine despite the sins of the night.

I wish I could understand how the beggar fights through each day despite the diminishing value of a country's currency.

I wish I could understand how the poor slum orphan works hard despite the turmoils of this life.

I wish I could understand how the priest handles thousands of confessions in his entire life 

I want to understand the strength of the cancer patient.

I want to know the power of true love

I want to know the value of life

I want to understand the complexity of life and appreciate the simplicity of life.

I can understand all this, when God walks me through this life

I will understand life someday...

02 January, 2011

Random**

The good thing about my life in the past one month is that i know the people who matter and the acquaintances. The time off in Addis has restructured my priorities in my life. I have learnt my lessons in terms of spirituality,love and life. Now its time to look at life in 3D, to find the beauty of it, to put my best foot forward and to consult God in all. In His own timing, He maketh things beautiful.....I trust Him.

01 January, 2011

Time has come

Time has come,

The hour is ripe,

It is in the fullness of time.

She has fought for it,

She believed in it,

She cared enough about it,

But wisdom is calling out on her,

To take a leap of faith... And let it go

It is time to say a long goodbye

It is time to move on.

21 questions

Sometimes she wonders whether it is worth it.

She wonders whether the torture is part of a big plan.

Is there even a bigger picture?

Will the tears every night,the heartache everyday ever touch his heart???

Is his heart human enough to see her pain from a distance??

Is this the cue of cold love aka not a mutual feeling??

For how long will she reach out?? For how long will he hurt her??

21 questions and still counting

She stays up all night waiting for him to come home,

He never comes, he never calls,

Yet she never tires, never gives up 10 years and still counting

She is hopeful that someday his heart will see.

That one day he will see the pain he has caused her

For when he sees her wounds, She will feel love again.

In the meantime, it is 21 questions, and she is still counting.