29 April, 2011

When my tears dry

Tears don't flow 365 days a year

Sometimes we go through tough times

Such times dry up our tears

When our tears dry up

My mind unlocks

I get to see beyond my pain

I get to realize that maybe the pain was worth it

And sometimes Bev

You need to cry it off to shake it off

But most importantly

Bev needs to dry the tears up

To forge on

I need to see clearly

Thats when the tears dry up.

24 April, 2011

Let go, let flow

God says:come unto me all who are heavy laden and I will give you rest.For his yoke is easy and His burden is light. Come to think of that verse all i can say is my wisdom is foolishness before my God.Forget the former things and set your eyes on the prize.

The Lord surely did know the power of letting go. Lot's wife was instructed by God in the destruction of Sodom not to look back. But you know humans, especially women.Curiosity does seem to kill us. So she turned back and lo and behold!!!!God has a sense of humour. He literally turned her into a pillar of salt.

What am I trying to say??

You need to let go. There is a reason why the past is behind us. There is a power that is tapped when we are forward looking. There is life in fixing your eyes on the prize lest we turn into a pillar of salt.

Never let yesterday use up too much of today a wise man once said. The more a man looks back, the less he gets ahead.

So let go, let healing flow Bev.

Let go of failure,

Bev they are just opportunities to start all over again intelligently

Let your heart loose Bev

Dont cage it or chain it

Let it bleed and cry and it will heal

Let the tears flow

Find healing Bev

Stop looking over your shoulders and wishing

There is a reason why Sodom and Gomorrah is being set ablaze

Let the Lord do His thing for Sodom disgusts Him

Without Sodom being set ablaze

Favour is blocked

His glory is hidden

Let it burn and dont look back

Let the past go

Let the burdens roll

Let the Lord reign

Let the healing flow

Let life flow

Lest you become like a pillar of salt

Let it go my dear.

Can I dream?

Sometimes life is a harsh reality

Sometimes life is hell on earth

Life can be a rude shock

I love to dream

For dreams are my getaways when hell breaks loose

They are like taking sabatical leaves

A break off th harshness

So i dream

I dream of life without pain

I dare to dream of true love

Life without fornication and adultery

Life without chips fungas or mpango wa kando wrecking homes and marriages

I dream of men taking positions

Being role models, fathers and husbands

I dream of women making and not wrecking homes

Women who cover their homes with love and prayers

I dream of children

Children who respect,

Who are secure

No sodomy, no rape

I dream of leaders who serve with integrity

I dream of a world that fair and not corrupt

I dream of sincerity of neighbours

The genuiness of friendship

Can dreams be a reality??

Can life be fair??

Can pure love be sought??

Can marriages survive??

Or shall the children keep crying out to God

To save their drunken father??

To save their parents' marriages??

Will children keep being tormented by the harshness of life??

That's why i dare to dream

For dreams open my eyes

Give me a fresh outlook of life

I dare to dream

I dare to live that dream

I dare to be different

I dont wanna be a cliche woman!!!!!!

22 April, 2011

Ategisin Jehovah

Ategisin Jehovah

With my all and everything

I salute my Lord my King

I can only praise and worship Him

Thank You Lord

Thank you for saving me in my youth

Thank you for sustaining me

For guarding me from falling

For covering my shame

For favor,

For your faithfulness Lord

For abundance

I was young and now I am old but I have never seen the righteous forsaken

You are king of my life

The Lord over me

I salute the Prince of Peace

Thank you for giving me a chance to finish 8-4-4

For the integrity and the capacity to think

I dont take it for granted

For favour in my transcript

I bless my Lord

For friends Lord

They have been my little angels

Lord I am grateful

For the gift of family

Thank you Lord

For Concert family...

I bless u Lord

They have taught me alot

For classmates Lord

They mean alot to me

Thank you Father


I salute you

I bless you

With my life

With my love

With my body

With my salvation

With my education

With my all Lord

I raise them up to You

All for the glory and honour

Of the Lord my King.

This is for you Lord

Lover of my soul.

19 April, 2011

4 days late

Day one

Day two

Day three

Still no change

Week after week

Still no change

Year'after year

She still waits on God

That God may save her husband

That God may bring peace in her family

That God may cure her brother

That God may deliver her alcoholic father

That God may save her friends

That God this....

That God that.....

10 years later and still counting

Still praying

No words come out of her mouth

Her tears are her prayers

Will God show her father the light??

Will her mother see the value of God??

Will her brother find healing??

Will her sister realize that she is a gem, a rare jewel and not an equipment to men??

Will her friends choose the path of Yahweh??

Will she find the peace of life??






You name it

The devil seems to have conquered her environment

She only hides in God alone

For how long she wonders??

When will God speak

Will He whisper atleast??

This is just too much to handle

But as she goes through this year after year

She learns

Her faith is rebuilt

Her worries turn into pillars of Faith

Her tears turn into gallons of hope

Her fears become her source of strength

She learns He may be late but His timing is always excellent

She quits holding her fist against the Lord

And she waits on Him

The devil meant this for harm

But Jehovah knows

She arises her spirit

God is not limited to life only

He conquered the grave too

Alot of kneeling before her Master

Keeps her in good standing

God may be four hours late

Or even four days late

Four years

For centuries

You name it

But He never does things uphazardly

He is a God of order

You may be waiting for a healing

But God is paving way for your resurrection

My situation may stink

But God will put an aroma, a fresh fragrance in your life

If only you wait and believe.

While your waiting my dear,

Serve Him with the fullness of heart

Trust Him

For trust is faith that has said prayers

Something good will come out of your 'crap'

God does have you in mind

Even when He is 'four days late'

18 April, 2011

Stand your ground Man

If there's one thing men(this case refering to male species) were created to do is to lead.

Men were born to be leaders and authority figures

Its in their nature to offer way forwards, to be undefeated.

They love to lead

But of what benefit is a man who cannot stand on his own feet??

Who cannot engage his brain to think,analyse and make decisions on his own??!!!!

It is not forbidden for man to consult,

But I'm referring to men who follow the wind

They grasp at anything the world offers

They are the flow of the wave

How will such a man direct his family if he cannot manage his own life??

He who is faithful with little,much shall be entrusted to him

Can you trust the word of a mad man?

Absolutely not!!!!

God created man the head of family.

He instructed him to love his wife as Christ loved the church.

Christ lead the church even when no one believed in Him

He guided the disciples

He taught them kingdom principles

He even prayed with them and for them

He loved them

He provided for them

He even fed them

Thats the man.

A man has to find his identity in His maker

Do we buy vitz spareparts for a prado??

Unheard of!!!!

Then why are men trying to re-engineer themselves

Tune your radar to your Master

He'll bring out the Father in you,

The husband in you

The leader in you

The High priest in you

The worshipper in you

He will give you wisdom

That other men will envy

He'll bless your household

He'll anoint you with favour and respect

Stand your ground

Not on sinking sand

But on the Solid Rock men

That's Jesus.

17 April, 2011

When you need to hear Him!!!

Sometimes I think the devil tries too much.But then again, he is within his job mandate. Of late, I seem to be encountering a lot of trouble in my life. A lot of stuff is happening within me and let’s just say the devil is trying too much.

So I sat alone in my lone time and tried to speak to the heavens. I took the verse ‘come lets reason together’ practically. So I spoke to my maker, because He understands me so well than I do.

After the whining and the endless grumbling, God had this to say:

“My daughter, I called you by name to serve me. Each day you walk, you are highly favored. People look up to you. They respect you. You have never lacked and when you did, I came through. You smile through it all…that is my power in you.

Quit with the grumbling Bev!! When praises go up, blessings come down. You have been sitting on your blessing for way too long. It’s time to arise and shine.
Invest in prayer. Value true worship. Commune with me and watch me do wonders that no eye has seen, no ear has heard and no mind has perceived.

Everything is a mess in your life my child, for such a time as this. That the glory of my Name shall be revealed and to you and through you to many others.
When you gave your life to me, you were not taking a walk of shame my daughter, praise me in the storm and watch me prove to you and the world that you are a daughter of the Most High!!!”

I then looked at myself and said to God:

“I have made you too small in my life. Oh Lord, forgive me!!!! I have believed in the lie that you are unable to help.
I want to serve you Lord while I am waiting on You”

So my dear, believer, Lord never sleeps nor slumbers.

If you are in the pit of life like me, fear not. He watches over His own. Like Joseph, He shall redeem us, and deliver us before the Kings. We shall find favor and rule. Not that we deserve this, but because God is graceful. He remembers the tears we shed.

Ps: make it your goal to encourage somebody out there. Spread the love of Christ.
God bless.

13 April, 2011

Food for my soul*

I have just been thinking about life

Life does have a way of short changing us sometimes

The criteria for whose favoured by this life or not, lies in the heavens

Sometimes you need to be tired

Sometimes its important to surrender

Surrendering is a form of defeat

But not when the fight is not worth it

Some blessings are found in letting go

I have reached that point

Im not struggling anymore at some things

I mean im not in the business of trying to save the world

So im cutting off some slack

On those relations that are draining

Instead of fulfilling

Tired of being your angel

Its time i showed some care to the needy

The proud are too busy to notice these acts of love

I need to rejuvenate

Or else the arrogance of your words

Will kill me

The stubborness of your heart is annoying

The betrayal kiss pierces my heart like a sword

I need me a vacation in the splendor of heaven

Find me at my Master's feet

For my feet wont accompany you to evil no more

My heart wont cry for you no more

Someday you'll realize that all i ever did was because of God

For my main duty on this earth is to serve Him

The rest is extra-curricular.

So my soul wont weep no more for love thats not fulfilling

I crave not for hypocritical friendships

I miss not the days of crime

My eye is on the prize

Join the race

Follow Christ

The music in my heart

Listen to the words of my heart

A melody I cant complete

Listen to the beat of my heart

Dance to my music

For my heart is musical

Join me at the dance floor

Groove to my beat

The heart has chosen

Picked to share th floor with you

Will you dance with me?

Sooth my heart

Take my hand

Dance with me

My heart has chosen you

You to love and to hold

You to cherish through thick and thin

To walk with through this life

I wanna dance with you through this life

And when the music stops

I want to sit by you in silence

When it gets hard

I want to cry and pray with you

I wanna be one with you

Bear your name

Be the mother of your children

Listen to my heart

I wanna be the wife of your youth to your old age

Will you dance to the tune in my heart love?

12 April, 2011

Does She ever??....Does He?

Does she ever

Take a minute and pause

See the world through her mother's eyes

Through her tears

Does he ever

Reconsider his actions

Knowing it will hurt, tear and reap somebody out there??

Does she take a minute

Before closing that door with a man she knows not

And reconsider what she is binding herself to??

Does he pause that drink

And wonder that he could be spending the only cent his father had?

The sweat of his daddy's brows he misuses in alcohol

Before, she lets go of her most priced possessions

Does she ever remember her dreams as a child??

Did she turn up as she dreamed

Or her whole life seems to be a dream to her??

He finds comfort in being carried by the wind

Never standing on his ground like a man

Never making his daddy proud

Campus happened we like to say

So now she will dress like a slut

Speak trash

As she never considers the results

Her siblings look up to her

But with time they grow past her

He was the hope of the family

but now he hopelessly drinks around the village

Did he ever pause to think??

Did she ever reconsider??

It sounds absurd being in campus and not having pleasure

Pleasure in women, in men, in weed, in alcohol

But pause and think

Think about the struggles that your parents underwent to bring you here

If not, at least your mum's prayers should not fall on tough dry grounds

And if not, then let your siblings find a model in you

Outlive yourself

Choose wisely

Show me your friends and definitely I can sketch you up

Do you ever pause and think

There's a long term effect to our habits

In the long run brother, you've got to decide

Stand on your own two feet

Ju ni wewe tu unaelewa unakotoka

Girl, carry yourself with all the dignity and respect

I don't wanna have kids look me in the eye and say:

"mama, ain't I glad i dint turn out to be like you!!!!"

The choices we make

Form the lives we live tomorrow.

##I am thinking aloud because it is painful to watch treasures of this world die with so much treasure and potential in them. It Sucks!!!!

08 April, 2011

Honestly Lord...

I want to be honest with You Lord

For if I am not honest with you, I live in deceit

For you knew me even before I was formed in my mother's womb

Lord you predestined my path even before time began

You wove me and you saw i was beautiful

Lord you sacrificed your Son for me

For my sins even before i sinned

You loved me even when the world saw me as a clot of blood

Lord....I want to live worth of my calling

I want to gain favour before man and before you Lord

I want to be faithful even when my flesh is weak Lord

Lord, i want to have faith that can move mountains

I want to walk on waters Lord, without my faith wavering

Daddy I want to keep my eyes on You only

Jesus, i want to turn water into wine

Father, I want to command the lame to pick up their mats and walk

Father, can i touch your garment....

For i have been in this state for way to long

My heavenly Father...

The storms are raging high

The egyptians are not giving up on me

Day and night they wage war on me

Father, with your Word can i part the Red sea??

Father before my enemies

Show yourself strong

Father this battle has never been mine

The battle belongs to the King of Kings

A thousand will fall at my right hand side Lord

Jesus, you are my fortress

My refuge in times of peace.

Holy Spirit, you are my best companion

My helper in this world

You promised to be with me till the end of the age

Father, I am just being real

Being raw and uncut

I am tired of faithless living

Acting like there is no God

Undermining the power of the Almighty


I am sick of conforming to this generation

I wanna be a Caleb and a Joshua

Taking over cities by faith

I wanna be Abraham

Trusting you even when the odds are un ignorable

I wanna be a John the Baptist

Proclaiming your word even when no-one listens

Lord make me a Joseph,

An exemplary leader who understands the value of sexual purity

Father, make me like Esther

Bold yet relies on you Lord through prayer and fasting

Father mould in me Ruth


I wanna be your friend

Unashamed of going to church and bible studies

Remind me of your love and grace at the cross

But also remind me of your wrath

That i may be careful how i live

That I may honour you with my words

May my words be acceptable before you Lord

May my thoughts be pure, lovely,praiseworthy,noble

May my body be a living sacrifice Lord

Lord, with you

Life in purity, genuine service, true unconditional love is possible

Father, i need you to be all that i dream of

I need you to be my teacher

Here I am Lord

Instruct my life

I wanna shine your shine Daddy

Thought I would share this Lord

Your Child,

Is it too late??

Is it too late to write this?

Is it too late to open my heart?

Is it too late to look back and wish i would turn back the arms of time?

Is it too late to reveal my heart's desires?

Is it too late to let you know this?

Will it be wise to do it now?

For i held back for so long!!!!

Is my fear of loving so strong as to deny my heart the joy and bliss it longs for??

Will i sound mad, perhaps a fool?

Will the world define my heart?

For what the heart adores,

It never lets go off

So pardon my heart

For being too late

For listening to the environmental noises

For letting fear hide its real feelings

For holding back for too long

I hope its not too late to say

You are my heart's desire!!!!

With that:

My heart can rest in peace.

Yours truly,

Troubled heart.

04 April, 2011

You hurt me....But im letting go

You may not know
but u hurt me
i have been bitter
been angry at the whole world
i am full of bile
for all the pain
the heartache
the damage
the tears
the nightmares
the agonizing pain
the silent screams in my heart
the life on stage
the life i have staged
live on stage
coz i didnt have the courage
to cover my shame
and walk past the shadow of shame
yes....i have been hurt
yes....i have hurt
yes i am hurting
but im letting go
of the baggage
of the weight
of the bitter bile
i am turning my wounds into wisdom
my scars into stars
i am forgetting the cloudy days
i am remembering the day the sun shone on me...
i am forgetting the things that i cannot change
i am remembering the things i learnt from such.
i am learning how to let go
.....learning how to smile through it all.

Fan the flame

Every step of the journey I fight
When I have the pride of a lion, I fight
When I am weak....I still fight with the little strength I have
When I crumble down,
I gather myself up and fight
When my temple lies in ruins yet its the House of The Trinity,
like dead bones in the Valley of dry bones
God's Spirit breathes life in me
I am not perfect, oh I am a sinner
A sinner in need of the cleansing blood of Jesus
Just like you reading this,
But I never give up
I never gave the Devil a chance to market himself
Not by my strength but by His Spirit
I brag not of myself....mere man
I am a trademark of Heaven
I decrease while the Lord increases in me
Therefore, I will not tire...I will forge on this walk with my eyes on the Prize
For this walk is not of those who shrink back and are destroyed but of those who believe and are saved
Has Bev been tempted to the point of death??NO!!!
Every temptation I go through is common to man
Have you been ashamed through the city...flogged while carrying a heavy cross and crucified???I DON'T THINK SO
Have you been in a den of lions like Daniel, Meshack and Abednego??I DOUBT
So count it all joy and forge on through your troubles, and through your weaknesses
That you may glorify Your Father in Heaven
Greater is He in You
Watch the midnight oil....pray..keep guard that He may find us standing in faith
For no one knows the hour the Lord will come....like a thief in the night...
Take your full tithe, not in part, to the storehouse...
Don't the scripture say...that He will open the floodgates if you do so....taste and see His goodness
Do good, for a scroll of remembrance exists
Forgive, don't let the sun go down in your anger
Honor the Lord in your Youth
Scriptures say, it is God's will that we be sanctified
Avoid any sexual immorality, control your body desires
Let there be no hint of sexual immorality...
That is how serious God takes holiness
Lay aside all sin that easily snares and entangles us
My dears, we all have dark pages in our life book
Yes we do!!!!
But there is a greater calling
We are marked to make a mark
We can be living testimonies...salt and light of the earth
Only if we fight on !!!!
Fight on with and in Christ
The 1st step of the battle is when you believe in your heart and confess with your mouth!!!!
this is what we call SALVATION
Make a choice
Pick up your mat and walk in the light
If you are saved, forge on!!!
A righteous man falls 7times but he gets up  my dear
I can get up....You can get up!!!!
Fan the flame of Christ.....don't be ashamed to know the Son of Man

03 April, 2011

Unmerited Favor

Favour is not fair

Grace is unmerited favour

Sometimes we notice the blessings of the day

There are time we've ignored the hand of God

The fact that we walk on two feet

Can see the beauty of the day,the sky,the rainbow

The fact that we can hear the sound of birds

We have brains to think

The willpower to choose a path of life

A chance to serve in different positions

Friends to make life worth it

A chance to be educated

It is grace that your loved

How many are rejected in this world??

It is grace that you have basic needs


Not the grace of parents,friends or people in high places

But the grace and mercies of God.

Be grateful

Appreciate everything

Complain less

Do not misuse the blessings you have

Do not be proud as if you deserve them

For the Lord upholds the humble

Remember He who blesses you

Before the day ends

Or dawn comes

Thank God for undeserving love

This undeserving love we enjoy

Is the unmerited favour

Courtesy of the Lord God Almighty.